Fallen
by amateur73
Summary: Third installment of the "Locked" series. Things are getting faster, but Charlie's still caught up in the mess that stuck with her since she got off the island. T for language.
1. Chapter 1Prologueish

**Damn, that last chapter pretty much flopped for ages. This chapter ain't so great either, and it's uber short, but it's kind of like a prologue-ish thing, but still chapter one…-ish. Sorry for jumping so far ahead, don't wanna drag it more that I need to. Thanks, guys!**

"Hey, Happy Easter," Jack greeted at the door of my house with a short kiss.

"Yeah, Happy Easter," I grumbled, moving to let Jack into my living room. My homeschooling wasn't going so well. The courses were primarily taught by my mom, though sometimes she'd have a tutor come in to give it a shot. You know, to pretend to not be hopeless. Plus I wasn't exactly a straight A student. And as time passed I kept getting…bigger. And the bigger I got, the more bitter and sour my mom seemed to turn. At this point I was towards the end of this "journey" and, as a result, I generally only wore sweatpants and sweatshirts. It really is hard to find stuff that fits when you're ready to have a kid anyday and look like you have an oversized basketball shoved down your shirt.

"And your family is…?" he asked, glancing around.

"Out, shopping and planning for Easter crap," I replied, collapsing on our couch. "At least this year I get to skip out on the Easter shopping hell." My mom's sensitive to other judgmental eyes on our family, so if I want to stay home, I do.

"They're planning _everything_ two weeks before Easter? I see where you get your planning skills."

"All in the genes," I replied sarcastically, but the end my sentence sounded rough as I said it through gritted teeth. I chewed the inside of my cheek and used my palms to rub the sides of my head.

"What's up? Are you all right?" he asked carefully.

"Yeah, whatever, just the Braxton- something. False stuff," I grumbled quickly.

"Didn't you have those last week when I was here?"

I nodded. "They're just a little harder now. It happens, whatever."

Jack seemed a bit uncomfortable leaving the subject, but he knew I wasn't up for talking about it. At least he was getting better at signs and shit. "So, have you thought any more about last week's parents?" he asked. He was referring to, of course, the adoptive parents we were interviewing. Yeah, Jack kinda came with me to help with the interviews, since I didn't want to go with my mom. And I "needed" somebody to come with me, according to her.

How did Jack and I get to this point? Well, we were pretty close in between the late night pick up kiss and the whole bus stop incident, and that last one almost sealed the deal. But there were mess ups in between (and quite a few), but I don't know. Somehow we always made it out in one piece. Our sarcasm unites us. Plus he can be a badass. You know, a non-psychotic badass. Don't know if you could tell, but I sorta have a thing for the whole rebellious deal (see? Sarcasm right there.).

"No, they just seemed too…suffocating. Family-ish. Made me want to gag," I answered. So many couples had signed up, but none of them fit right. I would pracitcally be dumping my kid with people I couldn't even live with.

Jack shrugged as he came and flopped next to me. "Then you don't even have any families you're considering."

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock" I mumbled. "I'll figure it out."

"What about other stuff? Er, supplies?" Jack asked.

"What are you talking about? I don't need anymore clothes, my fridge is stocked-"

"Not for you," Jack interrupted with a smirk.

"Oh. Yeah. Well…about that… was kinda supposed to…"

"You don't have anything, do you?" Jack asked.

"Hey, I've got a stroller and crib."

"…And?"

"…That's it," I answered sheepishly. Well, as sheepishly as I can get anyway.

"All right, let's go," he said, standing up and stretching.

"Jack, sit your ginger ass down."

"Nope. We're going."

"I stayed home to get _out_ of shopping."

"So we won't buy any Easter eggs. Let's go."

"But-"

"We'll stop by the music store."

I paused. I processed. I gave in. "Fine."

"I hate this," I muttered.

"It's not _that_ bad," Jack replied.

"You're a loser and I hate this."

"Okay, it does kinda suck."

"Not kinda sucks, it _does_ suck."

Just going into the store made me uneasy. Toys everywhere. Pacifiers around every corner. Strollers stalking your every move. It kinda made me paranoid.

"Well, this looks…um…normal," Jack offered, inspecting a crib. He inspected it a bit and then there was _snap_. "Uh… okay, not that one," he mumbled uneasily.

"What did you just-" I started.

"Nothing," he answered quickly. "Moving on."

I smirked and followed him away. "Nice going."


	2. Chapter 2

**This is probably the most awkward and out of character chapter. You can just skim it if you want. And Roger will be coming in soon, either in the next chapter or the one after that, but I'm thinking the next one.**

"Are we done yet?" I whined.

"I wish," Jack groaned in reply. Even he was starting to lose it. "Okay, we've got…almost everything."

"What?" I asked incredulously. "But we've been here for an _hour_!" I cried, burying my head in my arms. "Why do you have to be so damn responsible? I hate that about you."

"Only sometimes," he answered monotonously. "Okay, we just need clothes and toys."

"Do kids really even need toys?" I asked half-heartedly.

"You're having a kid, not an old man," he said.

We dully picked out unisex clothing (didn't even know if I was a boy or a girl. But I wouldn't put my kid in pink, anyway.). I chose the white myself. I would put my baby in black, but, come on now. Then it'd look like it was preparing for its own funeral.

"Okay, what about this one?" Jack asked in the toy aisle, holding a teddy bear.

"Great, let's go," I muttered. Jack had already spent a full ten minutes in that one aisle.

"Oh, but look at this one, it's a dog! Everyone loves dogs!"

"Not people who are allergic to them," I muttered.

"A dinosaur! Aw, it's so cool!"

"I should really get you one of these. Bet it could keep you busy for hours."

"The bear's the best, right?"

"Haven't we been over this?"

"You're never taking me there again," I muttered as Jack and I approached his trunk.

"Point taken. Agreed."

"Hell, a trip to the music store isn't even worth it."

As we loaded stuff into the car, Jack came across the bag with the toys in it. "You think we made the right decision with the bear?" he asked, holding it.

"Oh my god, Jack, don't start this again, or I swear-"

"But did you see all the ones in there? They even had a cat one!"

"Jack, get in the car."

"The bear is pretty nice."

"Yeah, let's go."

"But that dinosaur…"

"Can you even hear me?"

"The blue dog was really cute."

"Uh huh."

"And the little collar."

"Wait…"

"We could have gotten both, couldn't we?"  
"Did I just…"

"But every kid needs a teddy bear."

"Pee myself?"

"Or the cow!"

"Crap."

"Did you hear the cow?"

"Jack."

"It mooed!"

"SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR TOYS."

"What?" he mumbled.

"I think… I…uh…"

Jack glanced down to where apparently it looked like water was bleeding through my sweatpants. "What're you- Shit!"

"Oh god, oh god, this is happening," I muttered. I'd been at the hospital for a few hours on one of the table beds, experiencing first hand all of the lovely labor pains. Jack called my mom (against my own will) but she didn't answer and wasn't at the hospital yet. "Shit, this can't happen!"

"It'll be all right, Charlie," Jack tried to assure me sitting at my side, but who was he kidding. He was as freaked out as a twitchy child who lost their mom in a mall.

"No, it's not all right!" I said through gritted teeth as another long shot of pain came through. My mom hadn't signed the form for an epidural, so I was going "au natural." "Fuck! Oh god, can't we suck it out or something?"

"Yeah, let me just get the baby vacuum from the back," Jack muttered.

"Okay, you need to _stop_ talking," I hissed.

The door flew opened and my mom rushed in with perhaps the most dramatic expression on her face. "Where's my baby?" she yelled.

"Mom," I muttered. "There's one person here."

"Oh, thank god," she cried, covering her hand with her heart. "The doctor said you're almost ready!"

"Speaking of," said a woman who walked in. "Let's check how we're doing, shall we?"

"Is she okay? How is she? Can she go?" my mom bombarded her like the freaking Blitz.

"Oh yes, she's ready. She's a few weeks too early, I'm afraid, but we can't stop now."

"Yeah, let's not stop, no stopping, no slowing," I piped up.

"So who's to join you?" the nurse asked as I was being moved out of the current room.

"By myself. Just me."

"Charlie, I'm your mother," my mom chirped, as if that granted her the title of ruler of the universe. "I have to be there."

"Mom, I have to be by myself."

"You can't possibly-"

"Go! I can't have you there!" I almost yelled. I clenched my teeth again and glanced behind me at my mom as she stood, dumbfounded in the middle of the hallway. Jack was a few paces in front of her, watching as I started to disappear from his view. I couldn't possible know what thoughts were running through that redheaded mind of his, but it looked like a lot judging from that too familiar stupid expression.

It was the hardest thing I'd ever done, and the most uncomfortable. Did I ever mention how awkward it is to have a team a people looking at you "down there"? But after several minutes of misery, I'd gotten through it. The doctors told me I'd been brave to go on my own. Really, it couldn't have felt anymore condescending. After a few minutes, I was surprised to see Jack come in first by himself.

"How'd you go?" he asked quietly, approaching me and the white bundle I held in my arms.

"Fine," I replied. I must have looked like shit with any and all makeup wiped off, my hair in a messy bun, and sweat sticking to my face.

"Boy or girl?"

"Girl."

He came over to sit and slid his arm around me. "She's so beautiful," he noted, watching her sleep peacefully. Do you ever wonder what newborns think? I mean, do you think they're ticked off that they were practically evicted out of their home? It's kind of a weird thing to think about. But then they're so tired they conk out, so it was fine by me. "The tubes…" He was referring to the tubes coming out of the baby girl's nose.

"She's underweight," I told him quietly. "They're going to have to keep her for a week."

He nodded. Her eyes fluttered open. "Wow," Jack murmured. "She has your eyes." I didn't notice. The pair of eyes staring back at me were a shade that was hard to distinguish; it looked like some sort of mix of green, blue, and grey. One that I guess I'd seen in the mirror countless times. Black hair was sprouting underneath her cap. That part was Roger's. Jack leaned and kissed me on my messy-haired head. "She looks just like you. What's her name?"

I looked up from her, and then at Jack. Whoops. "Oh. I…forgot about that." I looked back down at her. I had so much time to think about it, but yet it never even occurred to me.

"You didn't think of a name?"

"Well, I was busy!"

"Doing what?"

"Uh…stuff." A million thoughts were dashing around in my teenaged mind. One of them had to be name. I looked down into reflection of my eyes. "Spencer," I said. "Yeah, Spencer."

Jack nodded again. "Oh, your mom's just moving her car. They were going to tow it, she parked where she's not supposed to…"

"No surprise," I grumbled. What was I supposed to do now? I may as well have been struck in the face with my own guitar; an hour ago I was closer to normal, barely worrying about anything. At least, not anything real yet. Now the next 18 years of my life was dozing off in my arms. "You want to hold her?" I asked Jack.

"Uh, sure." He gently took her head into his hand and held her gingerly (Heh heh, gingerly. Get it? Yeah, still a little high from the pain.). "Wow. I can't believe I'm holding the kid of my best friend since primary school."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, great. You're still 'chums.' I was afraid sense had gotten into you."

"I don't- I didn't mean…Look, I know Roger can be an ass, and he's a bit sick in the mind, but-"

"But nothing, Jack."

"But to me he's still the same guy."

"Jack, he got you drunk to take your job."

"You don't know us, it was a joke. You did that stuff with your friends all the time-"

Spencer stirred. She made some sort of noise, and before she could start the full fledged crying, I told Jack, "Here, give her." Gently I took her attempted to rock her peacefully in my arms, a trick that was apprently universal knowledge. Something went right because she quieted and shut her eyes again. "Well, at least I'm not completely hopeless," I muttered. "I mean… I think I'm holding her right…"

My mom burst into the room, breathless and moving all about. "Oh, oh you had it!" she cried, nearing close to me and practically knocking Jack out of the way. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Girl."

"Name?"

"Spence. Spencer."

My mom put one of her hands on her hips. "Now are you sure about that?"

"Am I sure of my child's name? Yeah, I'm pretty sure," I said sarcastically.

"But don't you want something nice? Like maybe Esther, or Betty?"

I looked at her with a messed up, confused expression. "Mom, what era do you think this is?"

Jack started inching towards the door. "Hey, Charlie, I'll let you two be. I'll drop off the stuff from the store at your house."

"Stuff? What stuff? You got stuff?" my mom asked quickly, glancing between Jack and I.

"Mom, calm down, jeez. Yeah, we got necessities and stuff."

"Like what-"

"You'll see it when we get home, okay-" I started. I looked back to Jack for confirmation, but all I saw was a perfectly sterile, blinding white door. Jack was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**HOLY SHIT reviews! I didn't think anyone was actually reading this anymore! Well, thanks for that. I almost didn't finish this fic, I thought it was failing terribly. Well, anyway, here we go (again, sorry if it's too fast) :**

Jack tried to visit me, but he couldn't very often, what with his parents and Easter and everything.

One day over the break I was sitting on my bed with my laptop, making sure Spencer wasn't sobbing hysterically. It was the day before Easter, I think. At the moment, things were actually going smoothly, so I decided to go to the basement and grab some old sheet music of mine. Normal so far, right?

As I was down there, I heard Nicki come in upstairs, calling for my mom and her dad. She was bringing some guy home that day that she wanted everyone to meet (she's like that). Apparently he was this really great guy, charming, funny, stupid shit like that. The "problem" was their relationship was sort of long distance, since they couldn't exactly see each other every day. I rolled my eyes as I heard her giddy voice bleed through the basement. When I managed to guess that she, my mom, step dad, and that unlucky bastard she was bringing home had moved into the kitchen, I took the risk of running into my room undetected. I did not want to get roped into that.

When I did make it to my room, I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank god I didn't have to join the giddy committee. But waiting in my room for them to leave wasn't much better. And apparently my room wasn't Nicki-Drama proof.

Let's just say, what welcomed me in my room scared the living shit out of me.

"Roger!" I hollered. There in my room next to my bed, Roger was holding a small white bundle in his arms. He looked up at me and smiled slyly. "Roger," I said more quietly, and then at barely a whisper, "just give her to me." I'd be lying of I said I wasn't afraid he'd snap her neck and drop her in a heap.

"She's mine too, isn't she?" he asked.

"You didn't want her," I muttered. "

"That means I can't hold her?"

"Uh, yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

He looked back down at her. She was still peaceful, her eyes shut. "Why are you here?" I asked, obviously not pleased.

"Didn't you hear?" he grinned. "Nicki and I are in a relationship."

Oh FUCK. "You did this just to fuck with me, didn't you?" I hissed.

" 'Course not," he answered. "Though it was easy to pinpoint she was your sister after she walked me through the whole plane and island thing."

"Step sister," I corrected bitterly.

"Roger!" I heard a cheery voice call from the hallway. "Hey, where are-" Nicki stopped at my open doorway. "Oh great, you've met!" She giggled. "Charlie, this is Roger, the guy I told you about. Roger, this is Charlie. Oh, and I see you've met Spencer!" She floated over to where Roger was holding Spencer and took her out of his arms. "Isn't she just precious?" she cooed. At this point, Spencer was awake and her face wrinkled into a purple sobbing ball of tears. Nicki's smile faded and she looked at us nervously. I smirked. Spencer obviously inherited my trait of hating perky blondes.

"Give her," I said. After a few seconds, Spencer's cries slowed softly, until they disappeared.

Nicki shook it off. "Hey Charlie, my dad and your mom want you in there, and bring Spencer. Family event."

I groaned. "I don't want to join."

"Not my problem!" she smiled. "Come on, Roger!" Nicki took Roger's hand and led him down the hallway. He gave me a final smirk before disappearing out of my doorframe.

Great. Now what. It wasn't like I could tell them who Roger was or what he did. My mom already thought it was all Jack. I'd just look crazy, claiming all this people were my kid's dad. It was hard enough to convince people I was raped once, but twice? No thanks. Roger wanted to stay in his shadow, and I'd like to keep him there.

I didn't need any more shit from my mom, so I took Spencer into the dining room and decided I'd just shut up.

I don't understand why my mom wanted me there in the first place. She barely acknowledged me when I came in holding Spencer in my arms, but at the same time she told me to stay when I tried to leave. Well, it beat me.

Roger lied about where he was last summer. Big fat lie. He conveniently didn't mention the island. What do you know.

I bit my tongue through the whole thing. Nicki did a lot of the talking. "Roger's been working extra shifts!" she praised cheerfully. "He's saving up!" I rolled my eyes. Saving up for what, more of Jack's alcohol?  
Spencer stirred. I huffed, trying to keep her quiet, but she kept growing louder, and so did Nicki.

I am not cut out for this.

Nicki was still saying some stupid lie about Roger when I "excused" myself from the table.

"Gotta take Spencer," I muttered, and my mother didn't object. I wouldn't either, what with the baby's screeching and sobbing. But still, I half believed my mom kept me there for the sake of making me feel invisible.

"I'll help," Roger said, getting up from the table.

"No, that's all right," I insisted, twisting my smile. "There's still so much to learn about you."

"No, really," he persisted.

"Oh, let him go, Charlie," my mom muttered. Great.

Once we got to my room, I set Spencer down on a table, her still crying her eyes out. "Stop pulling this shit," I told Roger, trying to find a bottle.

"There's nothing being pulled," he said too innocently. "Bags are a terrible look for your eyes."

"You know what's a great look for you? A fucking rake up your ass." Spencer wasn't taking the bottle, and before I knew I set it down a bit too hard in frustration. "Stop crying!" I pleaded.

"Just let me take her," Roger said, reaching for her.

I pulled her away, saying, "No! Just- just don't!"

"Stop it, it's not like I'm going to do anything to her," he muttered. "Who do you think I am?" Quickly he reached into my arms and grabbed her.  
Slowly her purple face started fading back to pink, her eyes were returning to normal without tears pouring out of them, and her loud cries began softening into coos. In the arms of Roger, she started sleeping again.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Nothing," he answered quietly. "Girls just need me. It happens."

I rolled my eyes and took Spencer to set her back in her crib. "Look, you can't stay a part of this family for long. Nicki gets really attached to her boyfriends and if I have to see you one more time-"

"I can't help where she brings me," he interrupted, inspecting my messy, paper cluttered excuse for a desk.

"You can break up with her," I told him. "You're going to anyway, just do it now."

"Last time I checked, you weren't in charge of my relationships."

"Last time I checked, I wasn't supposed to have a kid."

"Don't give me that again."

"I'll give it as many times as I want, because I can. Now, seriously, break up with Nicki."

Roger stopped looking at the drawings I had sprawled across my desk. He stepped close to me and neared his face right in front of mine so I could hear loud and clear in a faint whisper the simple word, "No."

I heard that sweet peppy voice coming from the hall. "Oh, Roger? Are you guys done yet? It got quiet."

Keep in mind, I didn't want to do what I did next. I did it because I had to.

I grabbed Roger by his shirt collar and kissed him.

Shut up.

I walked backwards not letting my lips go and dragged him onto my bed, me under and him on top. Of course, the dude was frenching back. Asshole. I let go of his shirt and he kept going at it, and that was all I needed.

Nicki came through my door, all giggles and smiles, but that quickly faded. "Roger!" she screamed. He parted his lips from mine and glanced up at her. This didn't make him look so great. "What are you doing?" she screeched.

Roger stepped over me and off of my bed. He wiped his lips with his arm and simply smiled that creepy, yet prideful smile. "Charlie!" Nicki yelled.

"How could you?"

"It wasn't me!" I pleaded. "He jumped me."

"Both of you!" Nicki hollered. "Just get out!" and she fled in tears or something.

It wasn't exactly how I imagined it would go to plan, but it was close enough.

"Well," I cleared my throat. "I'm just glad you didn't overstay in the family, Roger. Now get the hell out."

Man, did I wish it could have stayed that simple.


	4. Chapter 4

**Quick update for my reviewers and readers! Thanks again, everyone! By the way, I forgot to address this: Yeah, Spencer's a unisex name, but more of a boy name. I could just tell Charlie wouldn't want to give her daughter a girly name like Charlotte. Anyway, thanks for reviews and help!**

Things didn't go very well after that.

Nicki was all tears and running mascara.

My step dad was awkward and silent.

My step brother was laughing his ass off.

And my mom was screaming at me in my doorway. Thanks, mom.

"Charlie, I cannot believe you did that!" she hollered.

"It wasn't me!" I argued. " Nicki saw it! Roger pushed me!"

"Yeah, but you were flirting with him! How could do that to your own step sister?"

Nicki was still ridiculously sobbing behind my mom and nodding at every word she said. Roger had left in a split second. I'm pretty sure he even called goodbyes to my mom and stepdad. He's real good at twisting the knife, ain't he?

"Flirting?" I screamed. "Flirting?! What the hell do you think flirting is?"

"Don't talk to me like that! You think I didn't notice the way you were looking at him? Ha! Let me tell you something, I've got eyes in the back of my head! I am your mother!"

"If you thought I was 'flirting,' then why would you send him into my room?"

My mom choked on her words. Yeah, that's right bitch. "I thought he would give you a talking to!" she cried.

I laughed aloud. That was the most ridiculous argument I've ever heard.

"You are so full of crap!" I yelled.

"You stop saying that and show me the respect I deserve!"

As my mom took a breath, there was enough time of silence to hear a wail. Well, Spencer  
was up.

"Shut up the damn baby!" my mom screamed. "I don't understand why you have that thing. You're not a good mother and you knew I'd be the only one taking care of it."

"You're taking care of her?" I hollered before reaching to pick up Spencer. I tried holding her, rocking her, bouncing her, but if my mom didn't shut up any time soon, neither would Spencer.

"God, be quiet!" I hissed at the person in my doorway who was supposed to be my mom.

"No! You will hear what needs to be said no matter what noises that kid is making!"

"You are a fucking child!" I retorted.

My mom seemed appalled, like I'd just ripped out the bottom of her dress in public (which I may or may not have actually done before). "Get out of my house!" she screamed. "And take that crying kid with you! You have ten minutes to get your shit together."

Ten minutes. It took me seven just to calm down Spencer while trying to pack some stuff. My mom came in after 9 to remind me I had one minute left. Thanks, mom.

But I was out in ten minutes sharp.

With nowhere to go.

I'll admit, this wasn't the first time I'd been kicked out, it was the just the first time I was kicked out with a kid.

Again, thanks mom.

Some park was near our house, so I took refuge there. It was early evening, and other parents with their kids were giving me the stink eye, being a teenager with a baby.

I dug out my phone. One more time. I would call Jack one more time. One more time would that guy "save" me. I was not a damsel in distress. I was just someone in a sucky life and it was simply my choice to have Jack pick me up.

"Hullo?" he answered. His voice was bland, calm, almost a little too calm. It was the sort of calm he tried when he was still getting used to civilization. Like the savage in him was still pulling, bubbling under the surface.

"Hey, Jack, I sort of got into something. Could you..."

"Yeah. Yeah, sure."

I chewed the inside of my cheek. I still wasn't used to the whole "favor" thing.

I told him where to pick me up in relation to my house. An hour later he showed up. He got out of his car and helped me with my bags. I only had my guitar and a backpack full of stuff, and Spencer's bag along with her stroller. Again, since when did I become a mother?

In the back, I saw a newborn seat in the back. "When did you get that?" I asked quietly.

"Dunno. A while ago."

I paused. "Why?"

"Came in use, didn't it?"

I wasn't sure how to take that.

I strapped Spencer in and climbed in the front.

Jack didn't kiss me, and he usually did. Not that I minded, I just hadn't had tongue in a while (Roger does NOT count).

Silently, Jack started up the car and drove, just like that.

I didn't want to ask him what was wrong. I did not want to ask. I'm not that kind of person. Fuck. "What?" I asked, you know, only a half an hour after we started driving. I'm really good with timing.

"What?" he repeated.

"What's up? Something's obviously wrong, dipshit. Just spit it out."

"Roger called me," Jack answered immediately.

What. A. Dick. "Oh."

"It's not true, right? What he said?" He didn't his eyes off of the road for a second.

"Well, I don't know what he-"

"Dammit, don't lie to me, Charlie!" he burst. I watched his eyes, even though they weren't watching me. Ice cold. Ice blue. Hunter blue. "Did you kiss him?"

"I-"

"Did you cheat on me?"

"It's wasn't even like that!"

"It's a yes or no question!" Jack cried. I didn't say anything. "So that's a yes," he said in the quiet voice. That savagely calm voice.

"Yes," I answered quietly. I'd never been in a relationship like this. Jack was really serious. I wasn't.

He took one hand off of the wheel to run his hand through his hair. "Fine. Why. Go ahead."

I felt on the spot. "I- He showed up at my house, with Nicki. And- I had to get him out, and just..."

"Yeah," he huffed. "Whatever. You snogged my best friend. No big deal."

"I don't get why-"

"I have to stop for gas," Jack interrupted curtly. I sighed and rested my head in my hand as he eased off the road into a station.

I didn't get it. It was a kiss, and a necessary one at that. It wasn't like I'd "done" anything with Roger (once was more than enough, thank you). I'd honestly experienced a relationship this. Yeah, I may have had twice my share of boyfriends, but that was just it. Once you've had enough, that's it, you're out. Jack didn't seem like that type.

As I watched Jack stop in the shop, I realized it. I was his damsel in distress. I was the one who needed saving. I was heavy burden he had to watch out for. And I was bringing it all in.

I couldn't be that person.

I left.

I gave Spencer one last kiss.

I grabbed my bags.

And I left.

I left Jack

And I left Spencer.


	5. Chapter 5

**I AM GETTING SO EXCITED this fic is going to be coming to a close soon and I'm churning out chapters like crazy! Hope I get some last real reviews from you guys, we've only got a bit left to go!**

Just for the record, it's not like I thought of myself as mother of the year. I knew a man eating lion would probably do a better job of raising someone than I could. I just couldn't deal with it, and I couldn't leave Spencer at my hand to live a life even worse than mine.

I don't think my mom really knew how much cash I had. I was surprised she hadn't searched for it. In a shoebox where I had a bunch of stuff like guitar books, extra strings, sheets of music I'd written, stuff that my mom in general didn't care about. But in that box, somewhere carefully folded in a booklet of notes I'd composed, was the cash I'd harvested for years. Yeah, I can be pretty careless with money, but that wasn't my job money, not really. Of course I always had a job, whether it was at the music store or some clothing store, but I used that stuff freely. My box money came from playing my guitar. It was cash from my band's gigs, it was cash from contests we'd won, and it was cash from me playing freely for money. And I had a lot.

So I got a plane ticket home.

No, not my crappy new home in England, my actual home. My shitty little town in Ohio was where I belonged, where I'd always belonged, and where I knew I always would.

Jack called me after I'd fled the station and managed to call a cab. I didn't answer. I didn't want to hear his voice again. Plus I knew I was a shitty mom. The thing was, I wasn't cut out to be a mom at all, I really wasn't. Call me stupid, call me irresponsible, call me a bitch, but hell I had a couple hundred dollars and I was getting out of there.

I knew I was making it worse. I knew I was cutting into Jack deeper and deeper, but I felt it was more like the ripping off of a bandaid, you know? One excruciatingly painful moment that feels like it could last forever, but you just wait and it fades before you know it. That would be me.

On the plane ride home that same night (yeah, very exciting day, I know), I managed to grab one last minute flight in which an Easter traveller cancelled. Lucky me, right?

As I thought about it more, I got more and more pissed at Jack. I mean the least he could do after raping me was give me a break, right? Or two. Or three. Infinitive breaks could work, too. And I continued to think. Fuck Jack. Fuck Roger. Fuck everybody. I was going the fuck home.

To sum it up, I got another cab from the airport and booked a room at the cheapest motel I found. And I conked the hell out.

The next day was really boring. Went job searching. Did some public performing. You know those people you see on the street with their guitars, singing like they're ready to drop through the sidewalk cracks but they still give it their all and put out their guitar case for any money? Yeah, that was me. I was getting calls from everyone but my mom who was still too stubborn. I got texts, too from my stepbrother, my stepdad, even Nicki, and especially Jack. Too bad I wasn't going to answer.

The minute my friends heard I was back in town, they bailed wherever they were at to meet me at my motel. We were that kind of group. Everyone was there: Tyler, Jake, and Ryan: the drummer, the bassist, and the other guitarist. I got lots of congratulations for officially being a school drop out, and I got questions about what I'd been up to. I sort of danced around those.

A few more days passed, I think. Maybe it was weeks, but I wasn't sure, everything was kind of blur of music, friends, and...some other stuff.

I lost track of time. All I could focus on was the money I needed, my guitar playing that needed practicing, my vocals that needed stretching, and having a good time.

That was, until I got a knock on my door.

I didn't think about what I was wearing, or how I looked, or who could even be behind the door. I swung it open and immediately threw my hands down. "God, shit!" I yelled.

There was that redhead looking back at me.

"Charlie?" Jack asked.

"What, What the hell?" I cried. "What are you doing here?"

"What happened to you?" I was wearing a t-shirt that was too big for me, a t-shirt that wasn't mine. The only thing covering my ass was my underwear. "What's with your eyes?" Jack asked. Flattering that guy is. My hair was messy. My streaks were fading.

"Don't worry about it," I muttered.

"Who is it?" a voice called from the bathroom.

Jack raised his eyebrows at me, and then Tyler walked out into plain sight. Shirtless. Yeah, his shirtlessness wasn't looking too great with my almost-nakedness.

"Is that..." Jack started.

"Oh, hey man!" Tyler called out to him. "John, right?"

"Jack," he spat back.

"Ha, sorry dude!"

Tyler went on to scavenger for some clothes in the back of the room. "So," Jack cleared his throat. "I haven't talked to you in a while."

"Yeah," I muttered quietly. I pulled down at my t-shirt again.

"What was that about?" he asked. His hands were in his jean pockets. It was probably the first time I'd ever seen him wear jeans.

"What?" I shouldn't have played stupid, but I didn't see any other options.

"Charlie, you left during a drive. I didn't where you were, you didn't return any calls or texts, and left Spencer with me." His voice was sharp and his eyes were somewhere between ice and glowing blue. I wasn't sure what that was supposed to be.

I cleared my throat and crossed my arms, averting my eyes. "How is she?"

"Fine." Jack's lips were still in a straight, thin line. "My aunt's been taking care of her."

I nodded and tightened my arms. "That's...nice."

"That was a really stupid and selfish thing you did, Charlie." This wasn't head over heels for me Jack. This wasn't trailing me like a puppy dog Jack. This was pissed off and bitter Jack. And the worst part was I couldn't even blame him.

"I know," I replied, tugging at the bottom of my t-shirt again. "I just... I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I told you I couldn't be a mom."

"That doesn't justify you leaving her with me!"

"Charlie," Tyler said from behind me. "Have you seen my belt?"

"No, babe, check under the bed," I called to him.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "So what's with the metal face Hollister model? You never called me 'babe'."

Oh, yeah. I never really let Jack call me anything, and I never called him anything back. I guess it was one of those boundaries I set just between me and him.

"Tyler and I sorta...got back together."

Jack paused. "You mean you were together before? And you never told me?"

Whoops.

I mean, am I supposed to share this stuff?

"It wasn't something you needed to know."

"It wasn't like I was asking for you to tell me everything. I was just asking- You know, forget it. I don't know what I came all the way from England for."

Jack took the hands out of his pockets and started to walk away. Then he stopped, bounced irritatingly, and turned on his heels and came back. "I just don't know why you had to leave Spencer with me. Just tell me that. You never put her up for adoption in the first place." His hands were about up to his chest like they were whenever he made an argument.

I shifted uncomfortably. "No one was right for her. I wanted her to be somewhere that I could be."

"That's a terrible excuse!"

"All right! Look, it...it was just complicated."

Jack stuffed a hand in his pocket and rubbed his eyes with the other before throwing it down. "You know what, Charlie, I don't think it's complicated, I think you're complicated- What the hell is he doing?"

Jack was looking past me and I glanced back. Tyler was standing in front of a wall and tracing imaginary lines with his fingers. I think he may have smelled it once.

"He's just a little..." my voice trailed off.

Jack pushed past me and said, "Just a little what..." His voice got cut off as he took a whiff of the air. "What...what's that smell... Oh god, you've got to be kidding me." He picked up a rolled up joint on the floor. "Weed at ten in the morning?" he yelled. Without saying a word, Tyler walked and picked the roll out of Jack's hand. Yeah, that wasn't helping.

"If you're just going to stand here and tell me how wrong this all is, then you may as well get out now, Jack," I said.

"You think that's what I'm here for?" he asked. "I came here because Spencer needs a mother. But you know what, obviously you're not the one."

I knew that I was the one who left Spencer, I was the one who bailed, but something still made me want to stop Jack as he rushed past me and out the doorway. "You know, for a little bit, I thought I needed you, too. Who am I kidding, right? All you need are some drugs and friends to share them with." Jack reached into his back pocket and took out a thick wad of cash and threw it into the room. "That's Roger's. He doesn't know I took it and he sure as hell won't want to find out you have it. Go wild, eh?" he spat.

Just like that, Jack left and walked right out of sight. Away from the door, away from the room, and away from me.


	6. Chapter 6

***READ READ READ THIS NEXT SENTENCE***

**I DO NOT ENDORSE DRUGS AND THERE IS HEAVY DRUG USE IN THIS CHAPTER. BEWARE. Drugs mess you up, the people in this chapter are just dumb and scared enough to take them. DON'T. Don't abuse alcohol either, kiddos.**

**Also, there's so much fluff in this chapter it burns. I have to go soak my fingers in cold water for typing such a thing.**

**All right, so originally I was going to split this chapter in two, but I figured - screw it - so here you are. The last, final chapter. I was expecting this installment to be longer, but oh well. I might add an epilogue, I'm still thinking about it. For right now I'll leave it as "In Progress."**

**It's been so much fun, I'll miss Charlie, despite what I bitch she was!**

I didn't pick up the wad of money until about 20 minutes later. And technically that wasn't even me, that was Tyler who bent over and said, "Whoa, where did this come from?" You don't even want to know how he counted it (it went something along the lines of "1, 4, potato," and then he started cracking up because "4 isn't a real number").

That night, Tyler and I were planning on going to a party. And if you knew us, you'd know it's not exactly one you bring your parents to. You've always got the people who bring the liquor, the people who bring the smokes, and the dealers who bring the rest. More often than not they're held in some basement of an abandoned store that had once thrived, but soon the economy turned around and bit the owner in the ass, and their beloved business had to be given up. They probably never thought the time and effort they put into such a building would be used one day by the "bad kids" of the neighborhood to blast music and swallow prescription pills that weren't theirs.

After a while, Tyler snapped out of it and we made our way to the "get together." Let's just say, they had more "stuff" than you could even take in one night.

Why did we go to these things? Because to us, this was the meaning of living young. You get to experience everything in that one crowded basement. You have the young, brave body for it, so you do it. Was it stupid? Probably.

From the moment we walked in, the air was already smoky from cigarettes and pot. They had some cheap beer there, but I went straight for the hard stuff. Then I had a dip or two into their pills. An hour or two later, I was sitting against the wall with Tyler next to me, his arm around my shoulders. Honestly, I don't even really know if I knew where I was, but I'm pretty sure I was just sitting blankly. As far as I knew, Tyler only had drinks that night, so he wasn't as zoned out as I was.

There was a commotion at the entrance, and I saw tufts of red hair were bobbing above guys in the front. There was pushing and shoving, and the red head burst through. He looked around the basement and finally his eyes fell on me. "Charlie, what the hell are you doing here?"

I raised my head and paused. "What?" I asked, dazed.

"Get out of here!" he ordered. He reached down with his arm and yanked me up by my hands. I was already having dizziness problems, and pulling me up made me stumble. I would have fallen flat on my face if he hadn't caught me in his arms.

"Who are you?" I drawled.

His eyebrows knitted together. "What are you talking about? I'm Jack? From England? The island? What's wrong with you?"

"I had some stuff," I muttered. "I had some drinks and some... what was it..." I took out a small plastic bag from the band of my skirt and read off the name written on it in black sharpie. "Xanax! Yeah, that's it."

If you don't know what xanax is, let me educate you. It's a drug used to help with anxiety and while it doesn't necessarily make you happy, it can make you almost depressed or simply not feel anything at all, almost like it's drained you of your emotion. You could be seconds from death and it's likely you wouldn't even twitch, especially when you mix this stuff with alcohol like I did.

"Shit, how much did you have?"

"Like, two of the lil' ones."

"Thank god. All right, no hospital, you just have to get out out here, come on-"

"Hey man!" Tyler interrupted, standing up shakily. "You leave her alone! That's my chick and she can do whatever she wants!" Jack blew him off and carefully tried to bring me to the front. "Didn't you hear me, ginger freak? I said leave her alone and get your British ass out of here! Blood won't look good on that pale face of yours, Snow White!"

Jack sighed, looked down, and carefully put me down to sit against another wall. "Look, I don't want to-"

Before Jack could finish, Tyler threw a punch at Jack's face, which he immediately ducked and then swung his fist into Tyler's nose. Tyler stumbled back a bit, was caught by some of the guys at the party, and then thrown back into the invisible ring now created. He threw his head back for a minute to keep the blood back.

If I had had any emotion left in the numbness of my mind, I would have said something, I would have done something. But it was like I was watching movie, sitting for its entertainment and wondering what would happen next.

Tyler reached in and threw in a punch right at Jack's gut. And this continued. Tyler hit Jack's eye. Jack threw a blow to Tyler's mouth. Tyler slugged Jack in the nose, which really ticked Jack off, and he started hitting everywhere: across the face, under the chin, etc. This time when Tyler fell back, his friends couldn't push him back up. They laid him on the floor and he stayed, heaving and wiping away at his bloody nose.

Everyone was watching Jack like he was a death threat. I was still sitting at the ground and probably waiting for the credits to roll. This time, Jack didn't yank me up, knowing that this time I'd probably fall. Carefully he slipped one arm under my legs and the other around my back. "We're leaving," he said quietly.

I nodded, slipped my arms around his neck, and laid my head on his chest. "Yeah, whatever," I muttered.

Jack's chest was warm, and I could hear his heart beating through his shirt. I don't think I'd heard it since the island. It seemed like the longer I kept my head there, the faster the beat got. While drugged on Xanax and drunk on scotch, I passed out to that sound on the way to Jack's car.

I woke up on a bed, completely empty and sheets perfectly made. This room wasn't my shabby little motel room, it was nicer. Not elegant, but at least hygienic. I started spazzing a little at the random setting, but then my head started throbbing like hell.

"Are you up?" a voice asked. Jack walked out of them bathroom, dressed for the new day in jeans and fixing the cuffs on his shirt. So he brought me to his hotel room. "I know how you don't like getting tucked in," he said almost bitterly, referencing the "incident" (or should I say, an incident).

"Dude, what happened?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"You had that party," Jack muttered.

"Shit, that's right." Everything started coming back, despite how slightly drunk I was and the xanax I'd taken. "Where's Tyler- oh." Right, that fight. I looked up, but Jack wasn't making eye contact. "Jack, look at me," I told him. He acted like he didn't hear anything and continued to work his cuffs. "Jack," I repeated. He still didn't budge.

I edged off of the bed and quickly grasped Jack's face in my hands. He winced and made sure to avoid eye contact. "Jesus christ, look at you, dude!"

"Yeah, I have, thanks," he muttered. His cheeks were covered with scratches, one of his eyes was black, his nose was still a bit purple, and a part of his lip was slightly swollen.

"Sorry about that," I told him quietly. "Tyler's had some experience."

"Well I still kicked his sorry arse," Jack smirked. I couldn't help but laugh a bit. Then my smile faded and I put my hands down.

"I didn't need you to come last night, Jack," I said somewhat sternly.

He rolled his eyes. "I know that's what you think-"

"Hey, knock it off!" I told him abruptly. "Stop acting like I always need you there! It's still my life and I'll live the rest of it however I want-"

"Stop!" he interrupted. "It's not like you get yourself in the healthiest of habits! Drugs and alcohol isn't supposed to be an everyday thing! Did you ever think that maybe there's someone out there who doesn't want you dying before you turn 20?" His voice was raising, the tension was thickening already. A sort of angry hunter's look was flaring in his eyes, but something was off about it.

"That's just it! There isn't!" I yelled back at him. Apparently we'd gotten so skilled at fighting it was like a sport to see how loud we could get in the shortest amount of time. "Don't you get it? I live how I do for me, not for anyone else!" Jack's red hair was still sticking up strangely, and I realized his shirt was wrinkled from the night before and had specks of blood here and there. I wondered if if was his or Tyler's. "There isn't anyone who gives a single shit about it!" I continued angrily.

"When are you going to get it through your thick head that I do?" Jack shouted. I held back on my words. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I thought he was going to make a move, I really did, but when Jack leaned in, he just grasped me into a tight hug around my waist. It must have been the leftover xanax that didn't let me react. After a few disgusted seconds, I don't know how, but my arms raised to hook around and over Jack's shoulders and around his neck. Slowly he loosened and stepped back a bit, and that's when he made his move.

Our hands stayed where were, his around my waist and mine behind his head, and he leaned in, and so did I for a few seconds. I shook my head and stepped away, pacing backwards towards the wall behind me. "Wait, wait, wait! You can't be doing this! Dammit, Jack, don't you get it? We can't work together! I'm not a long term kind of person, and you are! You're the kind of guy who wants the big suburban house with the green grass lawn and a pile of kids, and I couldn't even handle one! My future is my music, that's my career, that's my life! I want to live!"

Jack came and reached over to put my arms down which I'd apparently been flailing around to illustrate my point. He slid his arms around my waist in a calming manner. "Charlie, I don't care about that. You may have one year of school left, but I'm graduating this year! I'm going to university! You can do whatever you want, I don't care, I just want to be with you, don't you get it? I don't care if it doesn't last forever, I don't care if it doesn't last for more than a month, I'll live in the moment as long as you'd like if you just let me!" His light blue eyes were filled with excitement, almost like he was as ready to explore the universe as I was.

I hated this fluffy stuff, I hated it so much, but I knew I'd have to get it over with. "But dammit, you got so pissed over the Roger thing, and you were getting so-"

He shushed me through his lips and quietly whispered the corniest, line I'd ever heard (but yet I couldn't help but laugh), "Don't let the savage in me go to waste."

He leaned in and locked the kiss, but winced for a second from the slight pain coming from his partially swollen lip. I couldn't help but smirk as I laced my hands around his neck. "Very badass," I whispered.

**Someone get me a bucket, I'm ready to hurl up some fluff. Notice how they didn't say "I love you"? You might be wondering how Jack knew where to go, but I was going to include that in the epilogue if I write one. It's not exciting, trust me. **

**About the epilogue: I'd love to have a solid conclusion, but at the same time I love having the whole "mystery" and letting the reader's mind wander. Anyway. I'll see.**

**Thanks for sticking through!**

**-Amateur73**


	7. Epilogue

**All right, epilogue it is. At least I'll feel some closure, too. Did I ever mention Charlie was pretty much my alter ego? She was a blast to write. So the epilogue turned out to be twice as long as a chapter, got a little carried away there. Anyway, thanks for sticking through again!**

~ Five Years Later ~

Sweat was making my dark wavy hair stick to my face. I took a few deep breaths, but the screaming from behind the curtains was still loud and buzzing through my ears. Though maybe that was because I was on stage for so long that night.

A few years earlier, I'd gotten a record deal. I dumped my old band and decided to go solo. I still kept in contact with those guys, I just didn't join them in all their drug parties. Jack was a big part of that. And being in that arena with so many fans and people who actually paid to see me, and just knowing that I could get so many more, that made me realize it was one of the best decisions I'd ever made.

These days I tried not to think about the island too much. I knew it was a huge chunk of my life, I wouldn't even know where I'd be without it. But that doesn't mean it didn't leave any scars.

Apparently Tyler and Roger kept in contact after they'd met, so Tyler gladly mentioned it to him how I'd gotten to Ohio, thinking he already knew. Of course Roger would never bring that up to Jack outright, but Jack overheard his side of the conversation and put the pieces together. As far as knowing my exact motel, that was harder. Jack had heard the name of the motel chain, but he actually individually checked the ones around my shitty town to see if I'd be staying there. I don't think I'd ever have the patience for that.

Jack had come back again the same day he'd met me at the motel, probably to scold me some more, but it was empty. There was some guy sitting outside the room, talking conspiracies to himself. Apparently, he'd already dipped into some weed even before the party. Jack asked if he knew where I was, and the guy remembered he was supposed to meet us at the party (being high and everything, he probably got distracted by something like his own shoelace). Jack took it from there and followed the guy in his car. Good to know Jack's good at stalking.**  
**  
"Hey!" a voice called. Ahead of me Jack was grinning, walking towards me and he tossed me a water bottle. I caught it using a single lace covered arm and slipped my guitar off my chest with the other. With that smirk still on his face, he pushed the hair out of my eyes and planted tongue on me, moving his hands down to my waist (after working for months on getting comfortable enough where I wasn't afraid he'd rape me, we got pretty handsy). I could feel him playing with the band of my thick, torn up, and shredded looking black and gray skirt and pulling at its chains. I won't let you in on all the mouth action, but for almost 5 years it was still pretty exciting (you wouldn't know by looking at him). I never had a boyfriend that lasted more than 2 months at once; five years was like a lifetime. I mean, we were off and on a bit, but still. I'm giving myself credit. He broke apart and told me, "They're here."

"Already?" I asked. I tossed my wrist sweatbands off to the side and tied my dark blue streaked-black hair into a ponytail. I had gotten tired of the teal streaks in my natural hair color, so I dyed it black and added deep blue streaks to, you know, spice it up. Jack had no problem with it (if you know what I mean). I grabbed my leather jacket off of a nearby table and put in on to cover my short, revealing, low cut, and fitting shirt whose short sleeves fell around my arms instead of on my shoulders. I walked with him through the halls into one of the backstage rooms.

I opened the door and shiny hazel eyes were gleaming at me in delight. "Charlie!" the little girl behind the shiny eyes shrieked. I squatted down on my boots and held out my arms.

"Hey, Squirt!" I laughed. She hurriedly ran in a sort of unsteady step, her black pigtails bouncing. Her arms reached over my torn fishnet stockings and hugged up under my shoulders.

"Hey, Spencer!" Jack greeted.

"Uncle Jacky!" She let go of my and rushed over to hug Jack's knees. I guess she was at that age where any distant relative that was older than her she called "Uncle" or "Aunt." I guess I wasn't considered family to the Merridews (kind of a relief, if you ask me). Jack smiled and bent down to left Spencer into his arms. "We've got it from here, Aunt Marcy," he told the woman sitting on the couch, obviously exhausted.

"All right, I'll see you later," she said, giving us each a smile and pecking Spencer on the cheek. Spencer returned it, along with a, "Bye, mummy!" Marcy smiled and left us three alone.

Jack's aunt Marcy continued to raise Spencer. We would have put her up for adoption, but it seemed like Marcy got attached, so that's where we left it. I still got to see her, though. Seeing her made me more comfortable around kids, but I sill couldn't imagine raising my own. Marcy would bring Spencer to my shows sometimes, but she wouldn't let her listen to the music. I had no problem with that, and if you heard it, you'd have no problem forbidding a five year old from it, either.

"I have something to show you!" Spencer said.

"Do you?" I asked. Jack set her down and Spencer reached for some papers set on the table. She fished through the stack, crayons splitting in separate directions.

"I made this for you and Uncle Jacky!" she said proudly. On the paper was a red smiling stick figure drawn shakily and another in blue, but with longer hair. A big heart was drawn in the middle with pink.

"Why is there a heart?" I asked.

"Because you love each other!" she answered. In the entirety of five years, I'm not sure if I ever told Jack I "loved him" in that sincere way. He may have, but it's all a bit blurry. I was just glad Jack wasn't pushing marriage anytime soon. I had a wide array of commitment issues. "You always kiss each other like this-" Spencer continued, and she stuck out her lips and moved them around. She even stuck out her tongue and wiggled it a bit.

"Do us a favor," Jack laughed, "and don't show your mum that face." Spencer giggled, and her laughs started getting louder. I couldn't help but smile at the glee shown proudly on her face.

"Are you giggling?" I asked her with a sneaky smile. Spencer nodded, but then she put her hands over her mouth and it grew into a wider grin. "You know how much the tickle monster loves giggles!"

Before she could stop laughing enough to object, I picked her up and tossed her on the couch and started tickling her like crazy. I watched as her breath got shorter and her giggled got choppier and happier.

Part way through, there was a knock at the door. I gave the tickling a break and said, "Come in." Spencer caught her breath and collapsed into Jack's arms.

One of the backstage workers was on the other side. "There's someone here for you," he said.

I was surprised. "VIP? Right now?"

"They say they know you and it's an emergency."

I left the couch and quietly asked the worker in close range what the name of the person was so Spencer and Jack wouldn't hear, but I could tell Jack was still trying to listen. The worker whispered the name in my ear, and I sighed and nodded.

He led me to someone, and I told him I could take it from there. I approached the figure leaning on the wall. The figure smirked and held up the VIP pass around his neck. "I paid for it, I should get my VIP use," Roger said.

"You know, just because I haven't gotten a restraining order doesn't mean I won't," I told him bitterly.

"Hey, it's been five years, give me a break."

"Go ahead, shoot. What're you here for?"

"To catch up."

"You won't get to see Spencer."

"You know, just because you're a famous musician doesn't mean you can be a bitch. Oh wait, I guess there's no difference between now and then, is there?"

"Mm, witty as always," I muttered. "Spit it out. Why are you here?"

"I told you, to catch up."

"You know I'm with Jack."

"It's not about that. I mean, unless you wanted," Roger said, smirking.

"Ten seconds to say something worth a shit. Go."

"You know, I actually got a university education. I made a sure way of life. University costs money. With me so far, drop out?" Before I could say anything, Roger continued. "You've got some extra cash somewhere, right, being 'famous' and everything?"

For the record, I wasn't "famous" famous, I was just finally getting recognized by more and more people.

"You came here to beg for money?" I asked

Roger smirked and licked his lips. "Funny, we must have different definitions of 'beg.' With you rising to stardom and all, it'd be a shame if the press learned of a child you had at age 17."

"So you're blackmailing me?"

"It's your choice. That's all. I'm nothing more than someone with a few connections."

I couldn't help but laugh. Laugh at the threat. Laugh at the money. Laugh at Roger. "Listen," I finally said. "I don't know if you remember this, but you raped me, and you're the father, and any paternity test can prove that. There were other people on that island who will admit to that, and if they say nothing, their silence will be suspicion enough. You think Jack wouldn't admit to knowing you did it? You're sorely wrong. Now I want you to get the fuck out of here, and I never want to see your face again. Just know that for the amount of skeletons you find in my closet, I can find twice as many in yours." And for the first time ever, I saw Roger look dumbstruck. Or, at least as dumbstruck as that violent stone face could look. And it was the last time I saw that violent stone face for the rest of my life.

I left Roger there and went back to the room where Spencer and Jack were. I stopped in the doorway when I saw Jack holding her on his lap, one leg over each of his knees, and Jack was holding her tightly in a backwards hug. "Do you remember this, Spence? Do you remember how you ride a horse?" She was smiling and nodding. "Ladies ride like this," he said, and slowly he bounced his knees together, Spencer bobbing up and down with them. "Gentlemen ride like this." He bounced her faster, and her smile grew wider. "And do you know how farmers ride?" Now Spencer was grinning, and she nodded. "Farmers ride like this!" He bounced his knees one by one quickly like he was jogging in his seat, and Spencer was shaking left and right, giggling. Jack was grinning at her giant smile and gave her a big kiss on her cheek. He looked up to see me in the doorway.

"Hey, come on," he told me. He offered the seat next to him and that's where I approached the pair and sat. Spencer scootched off of Jack and held out her arms for me to lift her and put her on my legs. She swung her feet over my lap and hooked her arms around my neck.

Spencer was getting bigger now. She was in preschool, and her legs were longer than they used to be. She was getting more cooperative, though. More willing to follow the rules. If she inherited any traits from me at all, that wouldn't last long.

"Charlie, why can't I watch your music shows?" she asked. I smiled a little, but it probably didn't come off as a natural or necessarily happy one.

"When you're older," I told her.

"Why does everyone say that?"

I smiled a bit more. "Because the best things come when you wait for them."

She nodded, as if trying to understand it. After a moment or two, she said, "Charlie?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Is it true you and Uncle Jacky are going to move away?" I held her tighter and chewed my lip a bit.

"Yeah, yeah we are," I finally answered.

"Why? I want you to stay."

Again, another small smile crept on my face. "I want to, too. But I have to go. I have people I need to work for in the United States."

She paused. "Is that far?"

"I'm afraid it is, Squirt."

"Will I get to see you?"

I looked down and met her eyes. They were still shiny and full of wonder, but not as happy as when I had come in. "Of course, just not as often."

She paused again. I could have sworn I saw her lip quiver for a second. "But...please don't go, Charlie. I'll do anything."

Jack was smiling at me and he slipped an arm around my shoulder. "I know you would, Squirt. But it'll be okay. We can talk on the phone as often as you'd like, how about that? And I'll send you presents and everything."

Spencer smiled and leaned against my leather jacket. "I love you, Charlie," she said.

"I love you too, Spence."

And I truly did, there was no doubt. And probably one day I'd tell her I was really her mother, and maybe I'd even go into detail about the island and Roger. Or, at least as much into detail as I could.

But right now Spencer and I still had so much left in our lives. She was happy where she was, and so was I. She never even tried, but yet she had shaped me into who I was, she made me stronger. Both she and Jack did, really. I noticed Jack was still smiling, and he leaned over and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek.

I was sitting backstage at one of my own concerts. I had my happy daughter on my lap with a good life ahead of her. I had my boyfriend at my side who was coming with me to live my dream in the States. I was already on my way to achieving what I'd always wanted to become.

This was where I was supposed to be, and I couldn't have been happier.

**I wish I could have come up with a better last sentence. But anyway, thanks to all my readers and reviewers!**

**-Amateur73**


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